I remember first learning about the book ¨Be Here Now¨by Ram Dass shortly after I moved into the Bath House. One evening some of the roommates sat around the table while my roommate Erik read aloud in his booming oratory voice. I’d seen the book on the coffee table, but never gave it much credence. Maybe at that time I’d just assumed it was some meaningless hippie dribble, but after listening to Erik, I grew interested in the topics covered in the book.
Simple notion to free oneself from notions, be here now.
As the big reddish orange sun sets on my first of hopefully many foreign journeys I more now then ever don’t want to leave. I think about all the little bits of places I could see and experience. Places, places, places, spaces, transformations. The world is sitting here and I luckily get to move through it. This is where I have to embrace the power of the now. I need to just enjoy this very moment of life. The pangs of longing will only detract from the greatness of life.
It took a swift kick in the ass about two years ago to make me appreciate a lot of what I do have. I fully value everything this journey has taught me. Big heaping mouthfuls of humble pie have been shoved in my mouth. I love this experience. It’s not all about happiness, but about peace of mind. Here I am now.
I probably will write a lot the next few days if I have access to a computer because I need to release the words in my mind. A great man I know once said it is easier to think than to not think. I thought this sounded really silly at first, but with time it’s really some of the most profound shit related to me in the English language.
Expanding on my time in Popoyo… As I began to walk down the long road from Las Salinas towards the coast of Popoyo, a local on a dirt bike asked me if I wanted a ride. Considering it was as hot as Satan’s rectum I said yes. I hopped on the back, and he asked me if I wanted a beer. Since he was the first cute brown boy I talked to I said yes. OK i’m racist and biased. I usually only like white guys, but he was surf broed out and had a neff hat on. It was charming. He took me to his friend’s comedor and shared some toñas. He then took me to a cheap place to stay and invited me to a party later that night at a pizza hostel named vaca loca that was shutting down.
Popoyo is really tiny, but it attracts and hypnotizes many outsiders. Business owners included Americans, italians, uruguayans, french, etc. I estimate this place will be fucked over and costa ricanized in about ten years if not less. this is why i want to spend some quality time in this zone sooner than later.
the party at the hostel pizza parlor was a mellow load of fun. there was a dash of dancing. the cute local bought me a beer, but then i intentionally ignored him the rest of the night because to be frank i’ve been avoiding penis on my trip. as easy and tempting it is to be a travel ho i just don’t want to. i cant have the hos in different area codes.
i spent the rest of the night talking to a cool batch of guys from bend, oregon and kentucky.
another reality check. i started to walk over to the tidepool swimming hole in just my bikini. suddenly a man in uniform popped out with a semi-automatic weapon on the point. he asked me if i was alone. i said yes. he told me to go. this area wasn’t safe. i’d get raped. ahhhhh yes i’m a woman. everyone is out to rape women. check. fuck that shit.
once again. fuck that shit. i just want to chill the fuck out.
sorry i’m a little buzzed right now.
anyways i start walking back and i was super paranoid. there was this shady looking guy right near me. i waited and let him build some good distance before i continued back to my hostel. the friendly americans gave me a ride out of popoyo because i couldnt afford to stay there anymore. I went to Granada to catch an easy bus back to San Juan del Sur. I’m reminded of rape again. I’m walking down a street and this young girl walking a puppy is in front of me. an older man starts following her closely so i speed up to stay right behind him. she veers to the right and he follows her. she stops and asks me if i speak spanish. she asks me to stay with her for a second. she then tells me to not take this this and that street.
fucking aaaaaa. i hate men. what is wrong with penis. why do woman have to live through this?
FUCK SEXUAL PREDATORS. I DONT CARE WHAT COUNTRY OR PLANET OR REALITY IM IN
Now that I have that off my chest, i’m back in san juan del sur in what is my last day in nicaragua. thanks nicaragua. you are wild, beautiful, and have given me so much. tomorrow i go to Costa Rica to find some secluded beaches i can chill on before i have to go back to the united states and be a poor child again.
central america, i love you. don’t fucking change for the white man. only change to benefit todo la gente. ok i shouldnt say white man. dont change for the oligarchy.
be here now.
ok that is all. see you soon.